How i wish i studied Mathematics when i was told

The blue Peugeot 406 taxi negotiated the sharp bend on Aggrey street and turned into Herbert Macauley road with a high speed. Six passengers sat inside the vehicle; two in front and four at the back. I sat at the back sequestered between a ballooned shaped lady and a lanky young man with sacer shaped eyes. We were all on our way to Yaba college of technology (Yabatech) Lagos state for the Sohoma oil group aptitude test.

“Driver please slow down, we are not in a hurry” The fair complexioned lady sitting on the front seat appealed to the driver.
The driver a middle aged man took a quick glance at her and frowned. The frown accentuated the wrinkles on his forehead. He muttered some inaudible words and turned off the radio knob on the dashboard.

“The problem with Sohoma oil group is that they don’t have a standard format for setting their test questions. They use different assessment methods each time they are recruiting” The fair lady in front was chatting with the man sitting beside her.

“I think they mainly use Gmat format. I have seen their quantitative and verbal reasoning aptitude test past questions” I cut in from the back.

She turned towards me and replied.

“I took this exam last year and all the 50 questions were based on Shl format. Majority of the questions were on spatial reasoning. I tell you it wasn’t funny at all. Let us keep our fingers crossed, hopefully they may decide to use a simpler format this time around”.

“Choi! Wahala dey o” The lady besides me exclaimed.

Sohoma oil group was a top brass multinational oil exploration and servicing firm in the country. A lucrative organization that was the dream work place for most graduates. Every time the company advertised for vacancies they were always over-subscribed. What attracted professionals from diverse fields to the organization was the fact that the company operated a strict recruitment policy that was based on merit. Anyone who had brains could get in as long as the individual scaled through the five stages of the recruitment process.

About a month ago, Sohoma oil group advertised for recruitment into 100 vacant positions in the firm. The minimum requirement was a first degree with at least second class lower grade. I alongside with everyone I knew applied. My choice position was the post of a public relations officer.
Two weeks ago i received the test invite email from the Human resources unit.

“Hello Bright Amanam your application for the post of a public relations officer in Sohoma oil group was successful. You are invited to an aptitude test on Saturday 3th May 2014 holding at the civic hall, Yaba college of technology Lagos. Time: 9Am prompt. Come with an email printout of this invitation"

I was giddy with excitement and displayed some skelewu dance steps to the amazement of Nancy my pet cat who sat curled on the chair purring away as her tiny beady eyes watched me with curiosity.
I saw the invitation as a golden opportunity for me to leave my low paying front desk job at my uncle’s sleepy real estate firm in Agege. I prepared for the test to the best of my ability, reviewing past questions and making online researches. I knew i stood a good chance of breaking into the elite firm.

“I hope they won’t put too many science questions. I am an Art graduate o”
One of the male passengers said, his short laughter betraying his nervousness. He was poring over a small pamphlet that had the words
“Aptitude test Success secrets” on the cover. He looked like a greenhorn who just got back from youth service. Sahoma oil test was probably going to be his first major job search aptitude test.

“Arts for where? You tink say na English literature you wan write for this test? Guy you better find way revise gmat” The lanky guy besides me retorted.

The remark was a bit unsettling to me. I was an arts graduate too: a political science major. I looked out through the window and I saw the cream coloured walls of Yabatech to my right and I knew that we were almost at the venue. The driver placed his legs on the brake pedal and the vehicle slowly skidded to a halt in front of the black gate.

“Na the place be this”

He informed us while stretching out his right flabby palm to collect our transport fares. He was obviously in a hurry to dash off to pick up more passengers at Aggrey street junction. Traffic was building up at the school gate as different vehicles pulled up offloading the aptitude test candidates. Business was booming for the taxi operators.

We got out of the car and slowly walked inside the main gate.

My heart sank upon sighting the crowd gathered in front of the Civic hall, the venue for the test. A bustling crowd that was akin to that of a trade fair. For I moment I thought I had lost my bearings and wandered into a market place.
Could it that all the unemployed and under employed people in the country were invited to write this test? I wondered to myself. In a short while I lost the trail of my co-passengers in the taxi.
I moved forward into the crowd looking around for a friendly face.

“Excuse me bro, are you here for the aptitude test?” I asked a tall fellow on a Blue shirt neatly tucked into a black plain trouser. His oversized tie hung loosely from his thin neck.

“Yes o, this is the venue, everyone you have seen here are all for the Sahoma test!”

“Thanks. Please is there any information from the organizers regarding the conduct of the test?” I inquired.

“Nothing bro, we are all waiting for them to show up”.

I stood there beside him with my file containing my writing materials tucked under my arms. I sidestepped just in time to avoid being knocked over by an obese lady who was waddling her way through the crowd.

I studied the crowd of smartly dressed young men and women all eagerly anticipating the test. Cheerful faces, hopeful faces, forlorn faces, weather beaten faces and nervous faces all expecting to make the Sahoma shortlist. Some were doing last minute revisions, skimming through tiny pamphlets, some were huddled together in groups discussing. Some individuals just stood still staring at nothing in particular.
Hawkers milled around with white plastic containers on top of their heads filled with sachets of pure water, gala and soft drinks. Two men were calling out and cajoling the test candidates to photocopy and laminate their documents with them. They stood under a Gmelina tree with their photocopying and lamination machines stationed besides them. Their tiger generator set was steaming. A pile of plain sheet papers & other stationeries were displayed for sale under a makeshift shop manned by an eagle eyed woman.

“This government has failed! They cannot create jobs for the masses! Look at the mammoth crowd struggling here. We need a revolution in this country!
A dark complexioned man with an animated face was addressing a small group gathered round him. I had drifted to his side for want of activity. Moving around the venue was less tiring than standing still at a place.

He looked like a true revolutionary. His hands were clenched into a fist. A dark horizontal shaped scar ran down the sides of his left cheek, a goatee beard dangled from his broad chin.
The onlookers nodded in support. He was telling them what they wanted to hear.
I got bored and went away. Revolution was the last thing on my mind on an aptitude test day.

A black Toyota Camry suddenly pulled up and an elegantly dressed man in a black tuxedo came out and surveyed the crowd with his hands on his hips.
Sections of the crowd moved towards his direction. I followed them with the hope that he was one of the test organizers.
The man became alarmed when questions were thrown at him from all directions. He moved backwards and raised his hands above his head as the crowd surged around him and loudly uttered…

“I also came to take the test with you guys o, I am not an official of Sahoma oil!
Peals of laughter ran through the crowd as the disappointed candidates moved away.

I attached myself to a group of six guys listening to a young man who was widely gesticulating with his hands. He was trying to drive home a point on the relevance of his social studies education degree to the success of Sahoma oil group. His ill-fitting black coat hung awkwardly on his bony frame. I left when the train of his words became too bogus.
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"Hey Bright! Longest time no see!
I turned round to see Paul my secondary school colleague beaming with smiles.

“Wow Paulo Paulo it is good to see you! It has been a long while! I exclaimed as i gave him a warm handshake. Paul or Paulo as we used to call him back in the days in our secondary school days was a mathematics genius. He was the only student who was loved by all our mathematics teachers. He always had the highest scores in mathematics back in the days.

“Bright so you are also interested in this Sahoma oil job? You no wan give we wey neva see job since graduation small chance abi?

“Yes o, who no like better thing? Paul you see I am so glad to see you here. You know aptitude test centers now serves as a get together ground for reunion with old time friends and colleagues”

“Na so e be. I wonder what is keeping the test organizers from getting on with this test? Don’t they know that we’re waiting here for them out here?” Paul complained.

A voice interrupted our chatter…

“It is the Nigerian system, nothing works in this country. We are grossly deficient in the area of strategic planning and management of both human and mineral resources”

We looked at the direction of the voice and it was the revolutionary who was with us.

“Yes like I said, the Nigerian system is inefficient and needs to be overhauled. We the youths should take our destiny in our hands!” he proclaimed as he roughly shook hands with us. He introduced himself as Dunamis Acheng a change agent and interim president National association of unemployed graduates. For a moment I wondered if he truly came to write the aptitude test or to propagate his revolution gospel.
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The Lagos sun was fully up in sky at mid-day blazing down on the tired, hapless and weary candidates. The three Gmelina trees in front of the civic hall didn’t offer much respite from the sun. The candidates were all in a grumpy mood and some were debating on the probability of the test holding.

The officials suddenly arrived brimming with apologies for the delay citing logistic reasons. The door of the civic hall got unlocked and we rushed in. In a short while it got filled up to capacity, two alternative halls within the school premises had to be sourced for the remaining candidates.

“Listen up everybody we don’t have time to waste. This exam is just for one hour. Read the instructions on the question paper carefully” A man in a blue checkered shirt announced. He was the head of the officials. 
The question papers and plain working sheets were distributed and the test was underway.

My heart skipped a beat when I turned over the question papers and found out that all the 50 questions were quantitative reasoning questions. The dreaded mathematics had caught up with me once again! I was a graduate of political science and mathematics wasn’t my strongest forte. 
Murmurs and hisses were heard in the hall as the candidates registered their discontent with the questions.

“E be like say dis people no wan employ anybody, which kain question be dis na?” A sonorous voice with a strong Warri accent sounded from the back.

“Everybody keep quiet, you are all under examination condition. You stand the risk of disqualification if you display any rowdy behaviour!!” The examiners ordered walking around the hall with stern looking faces.

A graveyard silence soon enveloped the hall.

I quickly scanned through the questions. All of them were objective questions. All I had to do was to circle the correct option for each of the question. 

I took a look at question 1:

A hall is 15 m long and 12 m broad. If the sum of the area and ceiling is equal to the sum of the area of the four walls, the volume of the hall is:
(A) 720 (B) 900 (C) 1200 (D) 1800

What kind of question is this? What formula should i apply to solve this? These people should know that not everyone studied mathematics or pure science in the tertiary institution. It was so unfair to subject everyone to questions from a single subject area. Why can’t they ask me about the Lyttleton 1954 constitutional conference held in London? or about the Mau Mau political independence movement in Kenya or about the Aba women’s riot of 1929 or the events that led to the assassination of President John Kennedy of united states? How the heck was I supposed to solve these mathematical questions when I didn’t have a clue about them?

Question 2:
(log3 4) (log4 5) (log5 6) (log6 7) (log7 8) (log8 9) (log9 9) = ?
(A) 4 (B) 0 (C) 2 (D) 1

I nibbled on the tip of my biro. The only log I could recall was the Siwes logbook I had to fill every week during my six months internship program in Audrix resources.
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My mind drifted away into yesteryears…..

“Bright come here why am I seeing red ink in the mathematics column of your result for the third time this year?

“Daddy I don’t like mathematics”

“You must like mathematics! I want you to become an engineer. Bring my cane let me flog that laziness out of you! Come over here!”

“Mummy please help me out!”

“Leave my son alone! Do you want to kill him because of mathematics?”

“Bright stand up! Why have you not submitted your maths homework?”

“Uncle I am sorry, I forgot to do it”

“But you didn’t forget to do English and government homework huh? How many times have I told you to keep on studying mathematics? If you don’t study mathematics you will not understand the subject! You must keep practicing it everyday! The more you practice it the more you understand it. Alex bring me that cane, let me flog the forgetfulness out of Bright!”

“Bright are you going to Arts or science class?

“Alex you know I like science but I hate mathematics! I hate mr Akpan that wicked maths teacher! That subject is too difficult. In fact i wish maths never existed. I am going to Arts class, I think I like government and literature”

“Bright what course are you putting in for your Jamb”

“Political science!! I wanna rule over you as the president when I graduate. If you behave well I will appoint you as my minister of science and technology…..but seriously i wish i could do a pure science course, people say there is money in science but I don’t like mathematics!”

“You have twenty five minutes more to go” The examiner announced in a loud gravelly voice instantly bringing me out of my reverie. 
I panicked as I looked at my un-circled questions. My paper was blank. I look around for help. All I could see were the despondent faces of my fellow candidates.

The Sahoma oil job was slipping out of my fingers! I needed the N4000,000 salary per month job badly! I was screwing up my opportunity to stand fully on my feet as a graduate. Just score 50% in the test and you’ll be through to the next stage was the word on the streets. I squirmed in my seat as I realized that the possibility of me scoring 30% was quite low.

Pie charts, bar charts, ratios, compound interest….the questions were all hazy and my mind couldn’t process them.

Someone was tugging at my shirt from the back. I slowly turned round and was surprised to see Mr Dunamis the revolutionary sitting at my back.

“Please what is an isosceles triangle? Check question 43” he whispered as he lowered his head to avoid being detected by the examiners.
My eyes raced down to question 43 on the list.

An isosceles triangle has at least_____ equal sides?
(A)3 (B) 7 (C) 4 (D) 2

“Honestly i don’t know” I replied. I desperately needed a revolution more than him at this point in time to make it through to the next stage of the recruitment process.

Time was running out so i quickly circled the options randomly counting on God and luck to see me through.

In a short while the test was over.

We moved out of the halls. The chattering smiling faces were gone and replaced by gloomy faces.

“Hi Bright, I lost you in the rush. I was in the second hall”
Paul caught up with me. I could see a relaxed and satisfied smile on his face.

“How was the test?” I inquired from him.

“It’s a walkover! I didn’t know that the questions were going to be ridiculously cheap. It is almost like elementary mathematics!"

"How was it?” he asked turning around to face me.
I looked down and kicked a pebble lying on the ground and watched as it rolled away. I slowly brought my face up and replied….

“How I wish I studied mathematics when I was told”. 

We walked in silence to the gate.



THE END.