AN ESCAPE FROM THE FRIEND ZONE (3)

CHAPTER NINE

Monday was the first day of the Valentine week and the atmosphere in the university campus was heightened with the valentine fever. Students were on the prowl searching for valentine dates. Various valentine themed programs and parties were advertised on billboards & banners around the three campuses of the university.

 “Guys what is your plan for valentine? Odiong asked his friends as they ate lunch in Foodie cooks.

“Mehn I dey look for Caro, if I no see her, this valentine go just go like that” Emma replied.

“You don turn wizkid abi?”

“I will probably attend Jccf campus fellowship program or I go just dey night class” Ken said.

 “I heard there will be a gig organized by the SUG at the pavilion. Can you imagine they are asking for N500 gate fee?”

“Nonsense! dem no fit organize free show upon all the money wey dem dey chop for dere” Emma complained.

“I saw Sug presido the other day I couldn’t recognize him anymore the guy looks so fat nowadays”.

Ken’s phone rang and his hear skipped a beat when he saw the name of the caller. It was Eva, she wanted to meet him at Love garden in annex campus. Was she having a change of mind?

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Ken rushed down to Love garden, a small shaded park located behind the faculty of Law and directly opposite Hall 3A girls hostel. An enlarged circular & concrete seat built round a big almond tree with spreading overhead branches. Law students in their customary white and black outfits sat on all sides of the park discussing legal terms. Ken looked around for Eva and was about dialing her number when he saw her approaching from the hostel.

The sight of her stirred up the flame of love that has been a little doused in his heart and the resentment he had built up in his heart over her refusal to go out with him melted away. She had rolled her wavy hair back into a pony tail and looked radiant on her blue blouse and maroon skirt outfit. 

“Ken what’s up…..Thanks for coming”.

“You look good Eva”.

“Oh Thanks! Sorry for bothering you, please can you help me with a favour?

A favour? He would walk through fire for her, she only had to ask!

“Yes…anything!”

“I have been very busy since morning helping my friend Juliet to design costumes for her departmental play tonight. I have not attended any of my lectures today. I have just been told that there’s an assignment has been given and that we are supposed to turn it in tomorrow morning by 8am. I won’t have time to do it. Can you please help me do a little research on Grey literature. I’ll get it from you tonight”.

“Tonight?” Ken asked raising his eyebrow.

“Yes” Juliet is in the department of theatre arts and they’re presenting The lion and the jewel a play by Wole Soyinka. It holds tonight by 7pm at the Little playhouse. You are invited. I’ll make sure Juliet reserves a special seat for you!”. You can bring your friends along”. She winked at him.

“Okay, you know I’ll do anything for you. I’ll call you by 6:30pm”.

“Thank you dear”.

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An evening with Eva! Ken’s mind was joyous as he raced up the staircase of Mc Giraffe Cyber Café to check on Eva’s assignment. The way she looked at him suggested that she had other plans for him that evening. It was going to be more than just watching a damn play that he had no interest in. It was going to be a romantic night…..this could be the tipping point. He could picture himself walking out hand in hand with Eva in the middle of the play strolling to the love garden or going to the hangout at Paul harris park, the possibilities were endless.

The cyber café predictably was jam-packed with users, he had to wait for some time before getting a free Pc to use. He bought one hour airtime and inputted the login credentials.

Ken hissed when he saw multiple internet explorer windows on the system. The previous user had not bothered to close the web pages before logging out. He began closing them one after the other. On getting to the last window the heading of the article on the page caught his attention. Written in bold red fonts was the title:

HOW TO TURN A FRIEND INTO A LOVER IN ONE WEEK- THE FIVE ULTIMATE STEPS MANUAL

“This could be useful!” he exclaimed. It was comforting to know that someone else was in the same boat with him.

He scanned through the article, most of what was written made sense. The writer claimed to be a dating guru based in Lagos. M. Ken did a Ctrl + A & Ctrl + C and pasted it in a new document page. He was going to print it out alongside with Eva’s work.

Grey literature…

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CHAPTER TEN

Idara’s mind was made up, it was five days to Valentine. She was going to make that final push. Ken was avoiding her. She had apologized to him for her recent outburst. He had accepted her apology and told her that he had nothing against her. He had informed her that he didn’t want any romantic relationship with her. She had been friendzoned.

She felt humiliated and had to get back to her hostel room to cry out her frustration. The feeling of not being wanted was disturbing. Idara knew that although she wasn’t drop dead gorgeous she was consistently turning down advances from other guys. Why can’t Ken find her attractive?

It didn’t take her long to realize that Ken was chasing a girl; Eva Essien a second year English student. Idara managed to trace Eva and found out that indeed Eva was a beautiful girl who could literally turn a man’s head upside down but she was way above Ken’s league. Ken didn’t realize the folly of dating a high class girl.

Seduce him……

She had to hatch a plan that will draw him into her net.

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Little Playhouse University of Uyo is a multipurpose enclosed arena in the department of theatre arts. Staging of plays & cultural dances, events & shows and sometimes lectures are carried out in the venue.

Ken sat next to Eva who true to her words had secured a good seat for him. Odiong and Emma who grudgingly agreed to attend the event were at the back row. The whole audience eyes were fixed on the stage where the student actors were playing out their roles. Ken watched as Lakunle the civilized young man wooed Sidi the beautiful village girl. The stage lights and the stage effects were fascinating and he found himself immersed in the show. He occasionally glanced at Eva. The gentle whiff of  her alluring Avon eau d parfum floated over his nostrils, she looked as lovely as always on her grey hooded jacket on top of a black jean trouser, her dark flawless skin seemed to glow in the dimlight of the hall.

The audience all laughed at the comical attempts by Lakunle to wow Sidi. Eva choking with mirth moved her head and briefly rested it on his shoulder and for that short moment Ken was lost in another world, a world where he was wooing Eva on a natural stage.

His thoughts went back to the dating manual. He had read and memorized the five steps and the corresponding explanations.

1) Approach indirectly

2) Create a sense of familiarity

3) Give her space

4)  Declare your feelings

5) Strike

From what he read he had used up steps 1 -3, he was left with steps 4 & 5. He was going to apply them tonight. If he succeeded Valentine’s day will be a most memorable day.

The play finished a few minutes after 9pm and the audience streamed outside.

Ken introduced Eva to Emma and Odiong both of whom looked impressed with her. He felt a sense of regret that he couldn’t introduce her to them as his girlfriend yet.

Eva walked with him sucking on a can of Guinness malt. They walked in silence down to the faculty of law building where her driver was waiting with the car.

“That was a good play Ken….they made it look so real”

“Yes, I enjoyed it……..Eva how are you going to spend valentine’s day? Any plans?”

She gave a short laugh and said “I don’t really know yet, what about you?”

Ken took a deep breath, this was the moment. In a sudden burst of passion he took her hands and declared.

“I am spending it with you, Eva I love you!”.

She didn’t say a word, she just stood still her face as blank as a statue.

“Eva let us take this relationship to the next level….Right from the first day I set my eyes on you in the library I knew that you were the one for me, I feel it in my soul!”.

“Ken…. sorry I don’t feel the same way you do, you are just a friend to me…, , I don’t see you as a lover, I only see you as a brother. Besides I am not ready for any romantic relationship right now”.

Her look of indifference was replaced with a look of pity.

“We can work things out, come on Eva!” Ken was desperate, he reached out to hold her hands. his world was caving in. The rug was slipping off his feet.

 “Let go of my hand! Ken….goodnight!”.

“Eva please…don’t walk away”.

She turned and took fast steps to her car, got in and her driver drove away.

Ken’s leaned on the wind tree his heart squashed in a thousand pieces.

“Oh my God what have I done? I only declared my feelings, could it be that she is overwhelmed with emotion? Have I completely ruined my chances with her? His mind was going haywire. Why is love so cruel?

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Ken was moody the next day. He managed to drag himself to attend the day’s lectures.

“Ol boy how did you manage to find that babe? your babe set wella!” Emma stated.

“She is blazing hot! I swear that chick fine no be small, men you get luck!” Odiong affimed.

Ken couldn’t say a word. How could he tell them that the girl was not his, that she broke his heart, that he was just a friend and a brother to her, that his place was fully cemented in her friend zone.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

7pm Wednesday morning two days to valentine day, Ken received a call from a lady who introduced herself as Ndidi. She informed him that Idara his colleague/friend was very ill and had requested to see him. She wanted to deliver an important message to him in person. Could he please come to No 12 Apexx line to meet Idara that morning?

“Idara is sick? But I saw her on Monday, she looked hale and hearty, Ken thought to himself. He still cared for Idara as a friend, she was a nice girl. He would do what he could to help. Lectures on Wednesday were all scheduled for the afternoon. He will sacrifice the morning for Idara.

No 12 Apexx Line was a fenced building located on the ever busy Zenith bank road intersection. Ken knocked at the gate and waited but there was no response. He pushed the gate open and walked inside. The compound comprised of two bungalows with a long and straight entrance. Fruit trees stood on both sides of the walkway, their intersecting branches creating a dark canopy over the walkway. The lawn on the right side of the building was littered with dry leaves.

“Which door should I knock?” Ken asked himself. The first door had five religious stickers plastered on it and looked more welcoming. He walked up to it and knocked.

Footsteps sounded from within and the door swung open. Idara came out.

“Come in Ken”.

“Idara a friend told me you were seriously sick and wanted to see me” I just had to come but it looks like you are perfectly okay.

“Ken i was seriously sick but I feel much better now, please come in”.

Ken followed her inside the room. He looked around, it was a spacious room with ground tiles a medium sized couch stood close to the door, a television set was on top of a wooden stand. Pictures and wall papers were pasted on the wall. The house felt warm and welcoming.

“You are welcome. Grab a seat this is my cousin’s place, she leaves her house in my care whenever she travels”. Idara said.

“What should I offer you? There is breakfast in the kitchen”.

Ken turned and looked at her and for the first time he noticed her dressing. She wore a skimpy top that exposed her cleavage on top of a miniskirt that showcased her laps.

Don’t worry…what is it that you wanted to tell me?

She smiled.

 “Relax Ken, I’ll tell you. Do you want see some photographs? She didn’t wait for his reply before tossing a bulky envelope at him”.

He went through the pictures and noticed from the corner of his eyes that something fishy was going on. 

Idara was sliding on the couch towards him. He looked at her in amazement.

“K…..eeen” she whispered as she reached forward and took his left hand staring deep into his eyes. He had never seen such an hypnotizing look in her eyes before. His heart began racing as she inched closer….closer.

Marvin Gaye’s Lets get it on was playing softly in the background.

There's nothin' wrong with me
Lovin' you, baby love, love
Let's get it on, oh baby
Lets get it on, let's love baby
Let's get it on, sugar

Her face was just a few inches away from his face. He could feel her breath on his face. In a quick move she brought her lips to his and kissed him.

Ken felt light headed as the temptation to yield came upon him...the scenario was overwhelming….his body and mind were warring....pleasure and the voice of reason were in conflict. She moved once again placing her laps on his and reached out to unbutton his shirt.

His willpower won the war and he pushed her aside and stood up.

‘Stop this! What are you trying to do? You lured me in here to seduce me?”

She stood up and confronted him her face was twisted in fury.

“I hate you! Is it because of Eva Essien that you are forming? Let me tell you she will never be yours!! She is not in your class! And I am done with you! She shouted.

Rage built up in his heart, he fought the urge to attack her.

“Look here, don’t you ever come near me again! You are a slut!”.

He kicked the door open and stomped out.

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CHAPTER TWELVE

14th February Valentine day fell on a Friday, the beginning of the weekend. The public bus Ken boarded to school was filled with students and the general discussion naturally shifted to the topic of valentine day.

“Valentine day is overrated, look at all these girls wearing red cloth to school today” A vocal guy with a thickset body at the back voiced out to no one in particular.

“una don wear cloth dey wait for guy wey go come spend money on una head. If to say all guys dey like me una for wait tire!” he declared.

“Sharrap there! broke guys like you shouldn’t be talking, allow us to celebrate valentine in peace jor!” a plumpy shaped girl sharply responded.

The male students turned on her and heckled her. Her female compatriots rose to her defense and the bus got rowdy as several voices were raised up each struggling to be heard.

Ken sat head bowed, a bit depressed turning over the pages of  5 ultimate steps dating manual in his hands. The shock of Idara’s onslaught on him had worn off. The valentine was definitely going to be a lonely one and the loneliness will be accentuated by the fact of what could have been. The fun he could have had with Eva.

The last paragraph on the manual read;

 Don’t quit, if you strike and he/she declines don’t give up try it again…her saying “No” is a way of testing your resolve. She wants to find out if you are really serious.

Don’t quit….he will try again.

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Lectures ended by 3 pm for Ken. Professor Udoka’s 4pm class had been postponed to Saturday morning. The man was a killjoy fixing his class on the day after valentine’s day.

Pick your call….Pick your call Eva!

“Hello Eva”.

“Hello Ken what’s up?

“Eva can I see you today?

“Maybe...i guess I was a little too frank with you on Monday evening…I am sorry if I sounded rude.

“There’s no problem Eva” Have you heard of Lost in the woods concert slated for tonight organized by Jccf?

“Yes! I have seen the advert, will you be attending?

“Yes…it starts by 6pm, I was wondering if you could come around”.

“Well…I’ll see if I can make it, call me by that time.

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The valentine evening atmosphere on campus was electrifying. Lovers breezed past buildings walking hand in hand, predators prowled around searching for prey, cars were parked along the campus gates and side-streets with male occupants waiting patiently for their female valentine partners. There were rendezvous at dark corners. Music sounded from open air parks where parties were on full swing. The different Christian campus fellowships had their programs running.

Ken felt a bit odd and a little out of place walking alone. This was the first time in seven years he was observing the lovers day celebration. He wore his designers outfit reserved for special occasions such as this; a Saint Laurent printed shirt, a Ralph Lauren Jean trouser and a black suede shoe. The Tom Ford black orchid masculine perfume smelt nicely on him. He looked dazzling enough to impress Eva if she cared to turn up.

 “Ken I am at sculpture garden, meet me there”. A text message from Eva read.

Wow she was already waiting! He rushed down to sculpture garden located in front of the department of Fine arts.

Eva was seating on a base of an elephant sculpture with a guy.

 “Hello Ken good to see you” Eva greeted him warmly and turned to the guy besides her, “Sweetheart meet my friend Ken, Ken meet my sweetheart Richard”.

Ken’s stomach churned at the word “sweetheart”, he instantly felt hatred for the guy. This was her sweetheart!

Richard looked matured and classy, definitely he wasn’t in the same league with Richard.

With bile and resentment in his heart he managed to shake the hand Richard offered.

“Richard stays in the Uk, he came here for a short vacation. Can you imagine Ken? People are leaving Nigeria and he is coming back here for vacation”.

Richard and Eva laughed heartily while Ken managed to pull off an unsuccessful dry laugh.

He looked at her with accusing eyes and suddenly felt small standing beside them. He wanted to run away to cry his eyes out.

“I am going for the concert”. He wanted to leave. He wanted to leave her and her Janded boyfriend.

“Alright Ken we will join you later”. Eva’s tone sounded triumphant, her eyes seemed to mock him…….

“you now know your place boy”.

Ken could feel the mist in his eyes as he walked on, the tears were forming.

Unreciprocated love! The girl he loved didn’t love him back. He was solidly trapped in her friendzone. All his dream of a lovely evening evaporated! He wasn’t going to any damn concert.

“You no dey look road? A tall guy walking with his arms around the waist of a petite girl yelled at him as he rammed into them.

“I am sorry”

He moved faster with no clear destination in mind and finally sat down at a corner in convo park.

As darkness fell upon the campus the street lights were powered on, illuminating the arena, he could see happy faces of lovers everywhere.

Ken sat with his face in his palm. He sensed the scent of cigarette smoke nearby, he looked up. A guy was seated next to him, waving a lighted cigarette stuck in between his fingers.

“Wetin dey do you? your girl don leave you?” he asked Ken in a slow drawl.

He didn’t wait for a reply and continued.

 “I no dey do anything with these campus babes, dem sabi break heart….I no dey everly believe this thing dey call love”. The guy was swaying from side to side, he looked tipsy.

“na to find one babe wey I go take sampe body dis night be my own, you no go join me?” the guy declared as he stood up, adjusted his cap and walked away dragging his feet on the ground.

Eva friendzoned me! 

I am stuck in her friend zone.

Didn’t I do everything to please her?

There is no escaping the friendzone…..maybe sometimes you have to accept it and move on with your life.

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care.

Ken got up to his feet and with a shattered heart walked through the first gate and slipped away into the dark night.

  

THE END

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 Music credits: Banky w, lionel Richie, Marvin Gaye, Brandy.

Textbook & Lecture credit: Wikipedia

Leroi communications 2014.

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